Question for Scott and Derek: Abundance argues that we’ve forgotten how to build. Has the Anti-Social Century happened because we’ve also forgotten how to build communities? Technology may amplify loneliness, but are we overlooking the possibility that belonging can be intentionally designed? If so, what are the design principles?
If we can learn to engineer abundance, can we also figure out how to design for belonging—without manufacturing it?
Scott, you've often said one of the three most important masculine skills is making a woman feel safe. So is part of the loneliness epidemic that men no longer have any easy way to approach a woman, say in a bar, that reads as safe rather than intrusive or even threatening? Even asking for a phone number these days feels pushy. What do you think women want from that first moment that men aren't giving them?
Derek — I decode cultural trends for a living, and your conversation with Agnes Callard reorganised half my filing system.
McLuhan called this in 1964: electrify the central nervous system and the globe contracts into a "village." But he was explicit that the village wouldn't be harmonious — implosion breeds friction and defensive tribalism, not peace. The uni-context reads like that village fully arrived: one room, one flattened set of behavioural norms, no local context left to tell us how to act.
What I'm watching from the trend-decoding seat is people improvising survival mechanisms in both directions at once: new IRL communities forming while URL life fragments into parasocial proxies. And Callard insists we keep choosing the uni-context. The isolation is self-inflicted, born of our own appetite for world-openness.
So here's what I can't resolve: are we simply mid-build on a new social grammar ( a temporary cultural lag ) or is loneliness the permanent climate of a one-room world, the price of the very openness we say we want?
Was isolation the norm prior to growth in factory and then office work? Is isolation now more of a health issue because developed nation populations are more sedentary and use their phones for companionship?
There’s a Norwegian concept called “dugnad” where communities work together, unpaid, to get big jobs done. Traditional things like preparing the farms for winter or processing a fish harvest. More recently it might be building a playground. Is there a way to propagate this to societies like the US?
As a 75 yo mentally ill, lgbtq, chronically ill white woman I have been increasingly influenced by Native American culture. I currently live in Central New York State, the traditional home of the Haudenosaunee (Iroquois) Confederacy. For the last 30 years I have felt that Native Americans have a lot to teach us backward white folks. Native Americans are human just like the rest of us so they have their flaws. There is corruption and an absence of ethical behavior on many reservations as well as among Natives who don’t live on reservations. Still, many of the tribal cultures are so much further along in understanding the concept that community is what makes humanity strong. What are your thoughts about this?
Mr. Galloway has been very verbal about his concerns for young men in modern American society. I’m an old hippy trippy (that’s where my interest in Native American culture got started). I’m also a 70s style white progressive feminist so he kind of gets my back up with his laser focus on young men. However, I can be open minded enough to say that yes, many young men are being left behind. That doesn’t negate the fact that many young women are also being left behind. Recently I attended a preview screening of a PBS miniseries called “Rematriated Voices.” It is a joint project involving members of the Haudenosaunee Confederacy along with local academics and film makers. The Haudenosaunee are matrilineal and part of their historic culture is an emphasis on community and respect for every individual’s role in that community. Have they achieved some sort of utopia…of course not. The modern world is what it is and the Haudenosaunee (in fact all indigenous cultures) are not immune. What puts them ahead of us is their willingness to accept the concept of community as well as respect for the individual members of that community. They know they haven’t achieved that final goal but they embrace it as something to aspire to.
I wish I could attend the live stream but I have a conflict. I will have to be satisfied with the recording.
1. Are IRL experiences subject to the Enshittification of Everything, often via higher prices? If so, perhaps that's partly the reason for loneliness/antisocial trends...
2. Is the loneliness era actually new, or are we just better at measuring something that's always existed in society?
3. How does loneliness in the USA compare to other countries?
4. Are there policy levers to combat this trend? What is the likelihood of policy action taking place, given that the preferred course of action by our geriatric policymakers is to kick younger generations in our collective (figurative) testicles?
5. Assuming policy actions exist, what would "success" look like in the fight against loneliness?
6. If the current lonely status quo emerged (at least partially) as a byproduct of convenience and choice, is reversing it something that people will actually choose? In other words, if people generally want more convenience, will they actually choose to avoid loneliness and isolation, or will some sort of friction be required to fight the loneliness trend?
I think the combination of technology, constant connectivity, and rising expectations has become really overwhelming for people. Because we all have phones, laptops, and even watches that light up with pings and messages, there’s this pressure to respond right away and be available all the time. Add inflation and how quickly everything in life keeps changing, and it’s a lot for anyone to process.
I genuinely enjoy being around people and being social...within reason. For me, being at work four days a week already feels very social, and I like making time for things like coffee walks with friends, as long as I’m not overbooking myself. But when you’re constantly expected to be “on” at work and you’re being measured or compared as a high performer or a low performer, the pressure and comparison can be exhausting. I completely understand why so many people feel drained and just want to be alone.
I live in a neighborhood. People stop occasionally and talk. It is great to
Know my neighbors. I have noticed almost 90% of people TEXT. Why is it people don’t want to have a conversation? A voice conversation in my opinion can be clearer than a text..
Related to Derek's recent conversation with Agnes Callard about the "Uni-Context". Would be interested to hear Scott's take on this. Would be great to work in Kyle Chayka's ideas discussed in "Filterworld".
Since Scott has been championing the struggles of boys & men (in the vein of Richard Reeves, The Mooch, and Scott's colleague Jon Haidt) wondering about considerations of how gender might play into the "Uni-Context" / context collapse / filterworld scenarios.
Regarding 'Abundance', I'm not sure if Derek has responded to Malcolm Harris' perspectives in his book 'What's Left'.
I have a feeling that Scott would agree that the major underlying factor of distress in American society relates to class issues. This aligns well with Scott's focus on how our system has been setup to keep rewarding older generations while leaving younger gens with the bill (and lack of social safety net).
I'm not sure if either you of listening to this yet but I'm confident you would greatly enjoy Jonathan Menjivar's podcast series 'Classy'. I wish there were more episodes! I would love to see Jonathan speak with folks like you guys as well as Matthew Desmond, Kyla Scanlon, Hanna Horvath, Kai Ryssdal, David Brooks, Tyler Cowen, Heather Cox Richardson, and the the list goes on about the historical and present day factors of class dynamics that have created such a massive gap between those of means and those who live without and may find themselves trapped in a permanent underclass in the not too distant future if we fail to find ways (in the vein of what Reid Hoffman talks about in 'Superagency') to prevent a long painful transition into a future where AI has automated aspects of the labor force and taken meaningful jobs that provide people with a necessary sense of purpose.
There are so many folks that I'd love to get Scott and Jessica and Derek in the same room with. I'll share a link to my little thought experiment.
You give me a code, then you say it is invalid! Something's amiss in that Communication!
My comment on the subject: I was just thinking about this the other day because I have four nieces two on each side of my husband and my families. They are beautiful, articulate well rounded smart and beautiful young women in their early 30's - not one of them can find a man they would want to marry. They are also technically connected but where are the men with social skills, to match them? It seems the 20, 30, even 40 somethings are only half with it! They can have long conversations about their phones, internet, the apps, etc., but can't start a simple conversation or engage in any conversations if not sports or techy! Unless, they have parents that have really indoctrinated them into manners, broad cultural conversations and social awareness - OMG! Only 3% of young voters voted in the recent California primaries. I spoke to one young 30ish female and said her vote wouldn't matter, so she hadn't voted. This is all part of the social crisis the generations are facing...How do we turn this around? Sheila
LOOK at Edward Hopper's Paintings. Loneliness is accepted.
Many grew up with 4 -6 siblings so they were never alone but maybe they were lonely.
Now JAMA has confirmed that we are 70% obese ( October 15 2025) but the Media will hide the facts. and talk instead about longevity rather than premature death. We are unable to face the music.
Question for Scott and Derek: Abundance argues that we’ve forgotten how to build. Has the Anti-Social Century happened because we’ve also forgotten how to build communities? Technology may amplify loneliness, but are we overlooking the possibility that belonging can be intentionally designed? If so, what are the design principles?
If we can learn to engineer abundance, can we also figure out how to design for belonging—without manufacturing it?
Scott, you've often said one of the three most important masculine skills is making a woman feel safe. So is part of the loneliness epidemic that men no longer have any easy way to approach a woman, say in a bar, that reads as safe rather than intrusive or even threatening? Even asking for a phone number these days feels pushy. What do you think women want from that first moment that men aren't giving them?
Thanks for the podcast.
Looking forward to this one!!
Derek — I decode cultural trends for a living, and your conversation with Agnes Callard reorganised half my filing system.
McLuhan called this in 1964: electrify the central nervous system and the globe contracts into a "village." But he was explicit that the village wouldn't be harmonious — implosion breeds friction and defensive tribalism, not peace. The uni-context reads like that village fully arrived: one room, one flattened set of behavioural norms, no local context left to tell us how to act.
What I'm watching from the trend-decoding seat is people improvising survival mechanisms in both directions at once: new IRL communities forming while URL life fragments into parasocial proxies. And Callard insists we keep choosing the uni-context. The isolation is self-inflicted, born of our own appetite for world-openness.
So here's what I can't resolve: are we simply mid-build on a new social grammar ( a temporary cultural lag ) or is loneliness the permanent climate of a one-room world, the price of the very openness we say we want?
Was isolation the norm prior to growth in factory and then office work? Is isolation now more of a health issue because developed nation populations are more sedentary and use their phones for companionship?
There’s a Norwegian concept called “dugnad” where communities work together, unpaid, to get big jobs done. Traditional things like preparing the farms for winter or processing a fish harvest. More recently it might be building a playground. Is there a way to propagate this to societies like the US?
As a 75 yo mentally ill, lgbtq, chronically ill white woman I have been increasingly influenced by Native American culture. I currently live in Central New York State, the traditional home of the Haudenosaunee (Iroquois) Confederacy. For the last 30 years I have felt that Native Americans have a lot to teach us backward white folks. Native Americans are human just like the rest of us so they have their flaws. There is corruption and an absence of ethical behavior on many reservations as well as among Natives who don’t live on reservations. Still, many of the tribal cultures are so much further along in understanding the concept that community is what makes humanity strong. What are your thoughts about this?
Mr. Galloway has been very verbal about his concerns for young men in modern American society. I’m an old hippy trippy (that’s where my interest in Native American culture got started). I’m also a 70s style white progressive feminist so he kind of gets my back up with his laser focus on young men. However, I can be open minded enough to say that yes, many young men are being left behind. That doesn’t negate the fact that many young women are also being left behind. Recently I attended a preview screening of a PBS miniseries called “Rematriated Voices.” It is a joint project involving members of the Haudenosaunee Confederacy along with local academics and film makers. The Haudenosaunee are matrilineal and part of their historic culture is an emphasis on community and respect for every individual’s role in that community. Have they achieved some sort of utopia…of course not. The modern world is what it is and the Haudenosaunee (in fact all indigenous cultures) are not immune. What puts them ahead of us is their willingness to accept the concept of community as well as respect for the individual members of that community. They know they haven’t achieved that final goal but they embrace it as something to aspire to.
I wish I could attend the live stream but I have a conflict. I will have to be satisfied with the recording.
* Anti-social Century
* Collapsing Total Fertility Rate
* Political polarization of Gen Z deeper than prior generations
* Gallup - Record Numbers of Younger Women Want to Leave the U.S.
Discuss Correlation or Causation ?
For which nations will these trends become "critical" ?
Which nations or societies are the best prepared ?
Will the critical impact be evident before or after the trend in climate reaches a "climax" ?
Will a demographic collapse lead to higher wages and cheaper housing ?
Questions/Topics for consideration:
1. Are IRL experiences subject to the Enshittification of Everything, often via higher prices? If so, perhaps that's partly the reason for loneliness/antisocial trends...
2. Is the loneliness era actually new, or are we just better at measuring something that's always existed in society?
3. How does loneliness in the USA compare to other countries?
4. Are there policy levers to combat this trend? What is the likelihood of policy action taking place, given that the preferred course of action by our geriatric policymakers is to kick younger generations in our collective (figurative) testicles?
5. Assuming policy actions exist, what would "success" look like in the fight against loneliness?
6. If the current lonely status quo emerged (at least partially) as a byproduct of convenience and choice, is reversing it something that people will actually choose? In other words, if people generally want more convenience, will they actually choose to avoid loneliness and isolation, or will some sort of friction be required to fight the loneliness trend?
Cheers,
Smokin' Jay
I think the combination of technology, constant connectivity, and rising expectations has become really overwhelming for people. Because we all have phones, laptops, and even watches that light up with pings and messages, there’s this pressure to respond right away and be available all the time. Add inflation and how quickly everything in life keeps changing, and it’s a lot for anyone to process.
I genuinely enjoy being around people and being social...within reason. For me, being at work four days a week already feels very social, and I like making time for things like coffee walks with friends, as long as I’m not overbooking myself. But when you’re constantly expected to be “on” at work and you’re being measured or compared as a high performer or a low performer, the pressure and comparison can be exhausting. I completely understand why so many people feel drained and just want to be alone.
I live in a neighborhood. People stop occasionally and talk. It is great to
Know my neighbors. I have noticed almost 90% of people TEXT. Why is it people don’t want to have a conversation? A voice conversation in my opinion can be clearer than a text..
Related to Derek's recent conversation with Agnes Callard about the "Uni-Context". Would be interested to hear Scott's take on this. Would be great to work in Kyle Chayka's ideas discussed in "Filterworld".
Since Scott has been championing the struggles of boys & men (in the vein of Richard Reeves, The Mooch, and Scott's colleague Jon Haidt) wondering about considerations of how gender might play into the "Uni-Context" / context collapse / filterworld scenarios.
Regarding 'Abundance', I'm not sure if Derek has responded to Malcolm Harris' perspectives in his book 'What's Left'.
I have a feeling that Scott would agree that the major underlying factor of distress in American society relates to class issues. This aligns well with Scott's focus on how our system has been setup to keep rewarding older generations while leaving younger gens with the bill (and lack of social safety net).
I'm not sure if either you of listening to this yet but I'm confident you would greatly enjoy Jonathan Menjivar's podcast series 'Classy'. I wish there were more episodes! I would love to see Jonathan speak with folks like you guys as well as Matthew Desmond, Kyla Scanlon, Hanna Horvath, Kai Ryssdal, David Brooks, Tyler Cowen, Heather Cox Richardson, and the the list goes on about the historical and present day factors of class dynamics that have created such a massive gap between those of means and those who live without and may find themselves trapped in a permanent underclass in the not too distant future if we fail to find ways (in the vein of what Reid Hoffman talks about in 'Superagency') to prevent a long painful transition into a future where AI has automated aspects of the labor force and taken meaningful jobs that provide people with a necessary sense of purpose.
There are so many folks that I'd love to get Scott and Jessica and Derek in the same room with. I'll share a link to my little thought experiment.
https://markdanowsky.substack.com/p/envisioning-a-big-table-conversation
You give me a code, then you say it is invalid! Something's amiss in that Communication!
My comment on the subject: I was just thinking about this the other day because I have four nieces two on each side of my husband and my families. They are beautiful, articulate well rounded smart and beautiful young women in their early 30's - not one of them can find a man they would want to marry. They are also technically connected but where are the men with social skills, to match them? It seems the 20, 30, even 40 somethings are only half with it! They can have long conversations about their phones, internet, the apps, etc., but can't start a simple conversation or engage in any conversations if not sports or techy! Unless, they have parents that have really indoctrinated them into manners, broad cultural conversations and social awareness - OMG! Only 3% of young voters voted in the recent California primaries. I spoke to one young 30ish female and said her vote wouldn't matter, so she hadn't voted. This is all part of the social crisis the generations are facing...How do we turn this around? Sheila
LOOK at Edward Hopper's Paintings. Loneliness is accepted.
Many grew up with 4 -6 siblings so they were never alone but maybe they were lonely.
Now JAMA has confirmed that we are 70% obese ( October 15 2025) but the Media will hide the facts. and talk instead about longevity rather than premature death. We are unable to face the music.
Thank you for all the research your team does for us listeners. Scott have learned so much from you.